Yes! It’s so much fun to start with friendship anyway. If it leads to a sexual friendship, you get to enjoy the buildup all the more! And that’s part of what’s so fun about being polyamorous and open, even when you’re not always dating or sleeping with lots of people. It’s nice to be able to approach meeting people with that frisson of extra interest in them that comes from the possibility of a sexual spark.

Have you read Sex at Dawn yet? I think the authors are right that we mostly evolved from multipartner mating nomadic hunger gatherer tribes who were very sex positive, knew how to share, and encouraged healthy fun with multiple people of any sex desired. So it’s who we are and how we best thrive to be able to enjoy robust sexuality in our communities. We just need, it has to be said after several millennia of sexism/misogyny/male entitlement and ownership of women and our sexualities, to have some real conversations with each other about how we actually do want to flirt, woo for just sex that night versus a sexual friendship that might lead to a long term partnership or any other courting prospect.

Comedian and podcaster (Gender Fluids & Wrong Questions Only)