Life is Too Fluid for Hard Identities

Arielle Isaac Norman
3 min readMay 3, 2024

People usually think I “have” pronouns. It used to be that people would see my haircut and assume I hate men. Now people see my haircut and assume I think I am one. (Neither is the case.)

When it comes to me “having” pronouns or a “gender identity,” I don’t see myself as either of the two major parties: he or she.

I’m definitely more third party, but even though gender-wise I’m an independent-libertarian type, I don’t like to call myself “they/them” for the same reason lots of people who are into freedom and small government don’t call themselves libertarians: because the people who proudly proclaim these identities are so often the most obnoxious people at the cookout.

I probably “am” non-binary, but asking for “they/them” pronouns would be like telling people I am vegan. I eat mostly plant-based, but I’m very flexible. I don’t want to “identify” as vegan (much less put it in my bios) because of what that would imply about my politics and personality.

Making it putting pronouns is one’s bios and email signatures mandatory signaling from “all good libs” would be like requiring everyone also announce whether they’re a believer, agnostic, or atheist. You could understand why not everyone would want to announce something so personal and so politically fraught in these polarized times. Addtionally, we all…

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